St Valentine's Day Massacre, Malaysia-style

Generally speaking, living in Malaysia is very easy.  Everyone speaks English, I feel safe, I have a nice home and a good job - everything feels pretty normal.  Then occasionally you hear about things that remind me just how very far from home I actually am. 

On the morning of the 15th I heard about this:

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysia has arrested nearly 100 Muslims in a religious crackdown on Valentine’s Day, officials said Tuesday, after Islamic authorities warned the celebration encourages “vice activities”.

Raids across the capital and central Selangor state, saw 96 individuals detained for “khalwat”, or “close proximity”, an Islamic law barring Muslims from being alone with someone of the opposite sex other than their spouse.

The mass arrests came after religious authorities in the Muslim-majority nation warned against “immoral acts” during Valentine’s Day, saying they wanted to promote a sin-free lifestyle.

In Kuala Lumpur, religious enforcement officers raided budget hotels and public parks ahead of Valentine’s Day detaining 16 Muslims, mainly teenagers, a spokesman from the Federal Territory Islamic Affairs Department told AFP.

“The operation was part our regular raids to stop ’khalwat’,” said Asmawi Umar, adding the teenagers had paid around 50 ringgit ($15) for a hotel room for two hours.

In Selangor, 80 Muslims were rounded up during raids between midnight and 6am on Valentine’s Day, according to media reports, quoting state religious authorities.

They face up to two years in jail and a fine if convicted in an Islamic sharia court.

Under Malaysia’s dual-track legal system sharia courts can try Muslims for religious and moral offences. More than 60 percent of the nation’s 28 million population are Muslim Malays.

Religious authorities last week launched a campaign called “Mind the Valentine’s Day trap” to condemn the celebration and said they would reject anything that contravenes Islamic teachings.

“In reality, as well as historically, the celebration of Valentine’s Day is synonymous with vice activities,” said Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz, head of Malaysia Islamic Development Department, which oversees the country’s Islamic policies. - AFP

Read more: Muslims arrested in Valentine's crackdown http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/MuslimsarrestedinValentine_scrackdown/Article/#ixzz1EU7ilBEQ

Needless to say, this was a much-discussed topic of conversation amongst the expats at work the following day. Things like this don't seem to happen in KL too often and the religious authorities frequently seem to be a bit less zealous here than in other parts of the country. That being said, the call to prayer from our local mosque is loud, very loud and sometimes the mullah likes to just get on the mic and pontificate a bit so you can hear this rambling in Arabic being projected across Bangsar.  Apparently, some local authority figure complained and then the mosque burned an effigy of this guy.  I think he dropped the complaint.

BYOB

Apologies for the gap between updates, but really I've had very little of interest to report.  I've been pulling 10 hour work days sitting in front of a computer, so as a result nothing interesting has been happening to me and I don't really want to look at a computer screen when I get home.

Anyway, as I type Ian is currently tinkering with our plumbing.  I went to wash the dishes yesterday and this is what came out of our tap:

It's been 48 hours and this is still going on.  I suspect this is a result of the heavy, heavy rain we received over the weekend.  It poured. Now one of the very few things Malaysia regularly gets right is sewage and drainage - mostly due to the constant threat of malaria and dengue fever - so when several roads wash out and your plumbing is screwed it probably rained pretty hard.

All I can say is thank goodness it's cheap to eat out and don't be expect to be invited round ours for drinks anytime too soon.

In other news travel plans for a trip to India in June are in full swing.  A very dear friend is getting married, so we're off to Madras for a 5-day South-Indian wedding and then I've got nearly two weeks travelling around with my French-Canadian sidekick who previously survived two weeks in Morocco with me.

Otherwise we are off to Borneo at the end of next week and our anti-malarial regimen beings on Friday.  Orangutans, snorkeling and drinks with tiny umbrellas in them, here I come.

Garden variety weekend

I've been following the weather reports in Chicago and can't quite decide if I'm jealous or overjoyed to not be there. On this end it has been hot - and I mean hot.  Yesterday, I made the mistake of walking out to the pool without sandals and nearly scorched the bottom of my feet.  I decided to go back and retrieve my sandals but stuck my feet in the pool quickly so I could make it safely back - I swear the pavement sizzled and my feet were instantly dry the moment they re-hit the pavement.

Taking advantage of the great weather and our four-day weekend, yesterday we went to explore KL's Lake Gardens.  The Lake Gardens are KL's answer to Central or Grant Park and contain (apparently the world's largest) aviary, there is a butterfly garden, orchid and hibiscus gardens as well as plenty of open spaces, jungle and plenty of mangy macaques to rummage through the bins.

We gave the aviary a miss as we were fairly certain it's something we'll end up doing with visitors at some point anyway.  The real highlights were the flower gardens, particularly the orchids.

They sell loads of the orchids that they plant there, so we thought we'd try our hand at keeping one alive and picked up a lovely purple and white one (like in the photo) for $2.00. 

It's another glorious day outside today, so we'll be off on further adventures.  The city is eerily quiet with the Chinese New Year celebrations on and all the Chinese shops and restaurants closed. It's nice during holidays here as each major holiday usually only pertains to a certain segment of the population; so although things certainly get quieter nothing ever completely shuts down and it tends to provide a great opportunity to beat the crowds.

Play it again, Sam

Imagine your least favourite childhood song - or better yet, your least favourite Christmas song - in Chinese, with children who have been given a hefty dose of speed singing it.  That is what is playing in every shop in Malaysia right now, and it repeats itself about every 45 seconds (literally, this is not an exaggeration).

I'm absolutely certain that if this were Europe, the EU would rule that to play this on repeat would be in violation of labour laws and probably even health and safety. If this were America, labor unions would be striking. It makes me homicidal.

I'm fairly certain this is a Chinese New Year thing, so hopefully it will be over soon.  I might even start sleeping again.

It's a jungle out there

'Marissa, Marissa wake up! It's time to go see the elephants!' No joke, that was Ian at 7:00 am sharp this morning.

So off to the elephants we went.  An hour and half drive deep into the jungle, with the last 12km or so down a two-lane road dotted with shacks and traditional Malay homes, we arrived.  Ian couldn't keep the grin off his little face.

Kuala Gandah Elephant Sanctuary

The sanctuary was a fair bit more sophisticated than I expected.  Lots of information about the elephants, a cafe, plenty of toilets and shower and lovely grounds.  Lousy gift shop though, it consisted of tacky tee-shirts and a few souvenir coffee mugs that said 'save the elephants' - done in permanent marker.  No one knows how to make a buck like the Americans.

I digress.  We followed the sounds of elephants trumpeting away and soon armed with peanuts, were able to feed the babies.

We got well and truly covered in elephant snot, but it was fun anyway.  We then had some time to kill before the fun really got started, which is when we got to ride the elephants and then join them in the river at bath time. (I'm pleased to say that on a subsequent visit they had eliminated the rides, which are bad for the elephants and have improved the bathing process significantly so that it is far less stressful for them.)

So we had a great day and learned a lot.  The Asian Elephant is an endangered species due to deforestation and urbanization - although in Malaysia that is called 'forest conversion'.  Most of this 'conversion' is the result of palm oil plantations - which destroy the elephant habitats. The elephants then take to raiding plantations, costing farmers lots of money.  Herds also get split up or trapped in small parcels of land often surrounded by plantation or other obstructions.

Malaysia gets really defensive about palm oil and (perhaps fairly) think it's a bit rich for the US and European countries to be lecturing about environmental policy.

The entire west coast of Malaysia from Penang to Johor is pretty much one giant oil palm plantation. It's heart-breaking. The problem with palm oil is not just simple the deforestation, it's the destruction of primary rainforest, that will never grow back. Oil palms grow very quickly, but they also have a relatively short life cycle, so once they are no longer productive, plantations are abandoned and the land is good for little else other than building on.

While Malaysia is pretty naughty, it pales in comparison to Indonesia - and Malaysia likes to remind you of that any chance they get. 

Back to the elephants. Kuala Gandah looks after 'displaced' elephants not only from Malaysia, but Thailand, Burma and around Southeast Asia.  Some are re-released others remain at the sanctuary.  The sanctuary is remarkably uncritical of the plantations and farmers.  Whether it is because they count on their cooperation to be notified of raiding elephants or they simply just view it as an essential part of Malaysia's development plan, it's hard to tell. 

Either way, they are certainly getting part of the equation right (and it's a great day out). We left what we thought was a fairly generous donation and will certainly be taking visitors there.

TGIF

It's 18:35 Friday, I'm home, sitting outside with gin and tonic in hand. Ian is in the pool. First time all week we've been home before 7:00 and it feels good. Big weekend ahead.  Off to elephant sanctuary tomorrow morning to spend day feeding and splashing about in the river with baby elephants.  I'm excited, Ian is really excited.  Birthday celebrations to commence on Sunday, think we'll spoil ourselves with steaks and red wine.

Have officially survived week two of the new job.  Phew.  Not only have I learned a lot about Malaysian work culture, but the commute is teaching me many lessons as well.  I thought I had the rules (or lack thereof) of the road pretty figured out, but highway driving is it's whole own thing.  Apparently, and infuriatingly the middle lane is the slow lane - so there is no elegant way to change lanes, you just gun it or slam on the breaks about 3 times in 15 seconds, awesome.

Now I generally do not support the bashing of women drivers, we all know men get in more wrecks and far more devastating ones.  But the women here, particularly the Malay women, are shockingly bad and I've figured out why - it's because they can't bloody see.  Very few women here wear full burkahs, but a great deal of them do wear headscarves.

And as you can see, they don't have any peripheral vision! It's like driving with the hood of a parka pulled over your head. It's entirely hopeless, not to mention that nine times out of ten they've got a baby on their lap or a 3 year old bouncing all over car - or both!

Needless to say, every trip to and from work is indeed an adventure.

Patience is a virtue

I report to you this evening from bed.  That's right, bed.  Not a mattress on the floor, but a real bed that is at least an entire foot off the ground. Hooray.

In other news the new job is improving, starting to get the hang of things and can just about sleep through the night without a 2am panic attack.  I'm also learning a lot about work ethic and work culture in Malaysia.

Firstly, people here work hard, and they certainly work a lot.  About the same half dozen security guards at our condo seem to be here all the time - at a minimum these guys work 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week - maybe more.  There is a local restaurant, open 24 hours - nearly the entire staff of about 20 guys live in once house. Shift change is at 7:00 and 7:00.  Everyday, 10 in and 10 out every twelve hours.

We also have a friend whose (admittedly crap) car has broken down several times.  Last week the mechanic fixed the transmission, this week it broke again - what did the mechanic do?  He felt bad and offered our friend the use of his own car.  So before I start my massive whinge, let the record show, I get how hard people work here and for how little.

Now that being said, I think a generous estimate would be that every time you seek out and pay for a professional service - at best they get it about half right.  If it involved having to actually go into a store to arrange or purchase something (for example broadband), you'll have to go back at least once. If you've scheduled a time for a delivery or repair you may as well block out your whole day. If it involved spelling (say invitations) or having something altered (curtains) something will go wrong.  The curtains, speaking from first-hand experience here, will either all be different lengths or they will at least be the same length - but not the length you specified.  My level of expectation has been dramatically reduced.

I was having a conversation at work the other day about working with 'local' staff.  The term 'local' staff gives me the creeps, talk about colonial.  Anyway, whilst acknowledging that we have many extremely capable and devoted staff, there was a discussion about how to get them to do things.  E-mail, no. Phone, no. In person, no. Just asking nicely, no. Threatening, no.  In order to accomplish anything, you have to make a big song and dance about what a great big favour they are doing you etc. etc.  Now this is obviously annoying on two levels:  1. It's a complete waste of time. 2. You shouldn't have to cajole someone into doing what's in their job description.  And even  after you've basically tricked them into doing their job, you're probably going to have to chase them up about it a couple of times.

Lots to learn, all character building I'm sure. Whether this is all going to make me a more or less patient person remains to be seen.