Burma roundup

It's taken a long time for me to gather my thoughts on Burma. I spent a big chunk of the trip on the bathroom floor reading Orwell's Burmese Days, listening squealing children and squawking chickens filter through the open window.

Burma is is much like India - or rather, I imagine, much like India was before it had millionaires or even a modern middle class. Like India, Burma has a the same recognisable British colonial legacy and is full to bursting with blinding colours and grinding poverty in a landscape composed of steep mountains, flat dusty plains and tropical bush.

It's much like India, but also much like Laos and northern Thailand; the Burmese have the same gentleness that characterizes the Laotians and Thais and the same remarkably unperturbed indifference to foreigners.

So maybe what Kipling wrote in 1898 remains true, 'This is Burma, and it is unlike any land you know about.'

Burma is more than just the collective attributes of its neighbours; but it's hard not to draw comparisons. The people are beautiful and subtle shifts in ethnicity are revealed as you travel up and down the country - some look almost Indian, others thoroughly Chinese - and everything in between. 

A universal feature amongst the Burmese seems to be the application of Thanaka, a cream coloured paste worn decoratively as make-up, but also as protection against the sun and is said to have cooling properties. It seems to most often be worn in a thick smear beneath the eyes, not unlike a tobacco-chewing American baseball player.

Burma is perhaps less reliant on modern technology than anywhere I have ever been.  Power cuts were constant, but unsurprising.  What did surprise me was the almost complete absence of cell phones.  I think of cell phones as a fairly democratic piece of technology these days, you can pick up a cheap Nokia for $10 just about anywhere. I suspect in Burma, the issue is not the cost of the phone but that phone networks barely exist and there is, almost literally, no one to call.

I suspect landlines in the home are also fairly uncommon.  The typical Burmese phone booth looks something like this:

An attendant sits in a dingy stall on the side of a road with a range of phones (that have probably not been manufactured in the developed world for about 15 years) - and people come along and pay to use them. 

Users battle the noise of passing pedestrians and traffic and of course every word you say is over heard - not an ideal setting for an intimate conversation or conducting business.

With the exception of Coca-Cola and a few car and electronics companies - and Singapore is making a big play with Tiger beer - there are virtually no international brands.  Everything in Burma, is made in Burma - making most goods cheap - in both meanings of the word.  Mastercard is the first (and this is within the last year or so) and only credit card that has any presence, in the entire country. International banks are non-existent.

Burma is like stepping back in time in a way that is utterly refreshing, yet also makes you wince. Even our fairly modest trip, on a modest budget made me feel a bit like a modern-day Marie Antoinette.

Mothers Ruin

Well we were due for an excursion to Penang this weekend, but for a lack of a single hotel room in all of Georgetown (Penang's main city and attraction) we'll be sticking to the greater KL area.  We could chance it, but our backpacking days are well behind us and ending up in a grotty, noisy hostel with shared bathrooms is just not in the cards these days.  In short, we're old and require a good sleep.

There is plenty to do in KL that we've not got round to yet (Islamic Arts Museum, Chinatown, Bird & Butterfly Park), so a good weekend is still promising.  That being said, the sky is looking pretty ominous at the moment and since we didn't get our usual afternoon monsoon yesterday, I suspect we're due for double today and that could turn out further hamper our weekend plans.  If all else fails, I suppose we must suck it up and make what is god-willing our last trip to Ikea. 

If you think Ikea is popular in the rest of the world, you've seen nothing.  It is packed morning, noon and night all day every day.  The majority of people don't appear to even be buying anything, it's just a hangout.  Hordes of awkward teenages swarm the place like they do any mall in America.  Our first week here, we went to Ikea on a Friday night thinking it would be fairly quiet and a good chance to grab some essentials.  WRONG. What do you do on Friday night in a country where half the population doesn't drink?  Go to Ikea.

And whilst on the topic of alcoholic beverages (sort of), Ian, in true colonial form has been in search of the most affordable gin and tonic in Malaysia.  Thus far we have found this:

It's Malaysian and not very good, in fact it's rather terrible and doesn't really taste like gin.  However, if you absolutely douse it in lime, it's drinkable.  And at a mere $3.50, it's very drinkable. You'd think that for all the Brits did in Malaysia and for as long as they were here, they could have taught them how to make a decent bottle of gin, but alas, that was apparently not a priority. Oh well, in this part of the world I consider a good gin and tonic to be a health drink, it's cold and packed with quinine.  It's essentially liquid medicine.

Colonial Pastimes

Having recovered fully from my first round Asian illness, yesterday we had High Tea at the former British Governor's Mansion, Carcosa Seri Negara.

It was a very colonial affair and Ian felt right at home.  It was indeed very civilized and mostly tasty - but even after 5+ years of living in Britain I still have serious doubts regarding the sandwich tastes of the Brits.  Egg and mayo on Wonder Bread is not classy, no matter how much you try and dress it up.  And further, eating dainty finger sandwiches with all the crusts trimmed off as if the patrons were all 4 years old and then eating said sandwich for a fork and knife is also remarkably silly.  I have nothing to say against the quality of the tea, croissants or scones, full marks.  At the weekends they serve a Malaysia High Tea which is served in the same fashion but instead with Asian savouries like spring rolls and Thai crab cakes.  We'll be back.

We are booked in to look at several flats today in Bagsar which is frequently referred to as an 'ex-pat ghetto.'  It is superb area with excellent restaurants and shopping but still has a nice residential feel despite being in the city.  Hoping for sucess and curious to see what Malaysian estate agents are like, I suspect as useless as everywhere else in the world.

Also, we saw our first urban monkey yesterday.