My Un-bucketlist

In a world with an overwhelming number of weird and wonderful places to go, you have to pick and choose, short-list and long-list. Our travel priorities shift based upon where we are, what we have time for, which flights go where and the weather. This will be controversial, but secure in the knowledge that we are never going to get everywhere, here are a five big ticket places that are on the back burner for us:

The Great Wall of China.

Yep, I said it. I'm sure it's amazing, but truthfully it is low on my list. Selfies on The Great Wall almost outnumber baby photos on my Facebook feed and the overall impression I get is that of overwhelming crowds. Crowds are an inevitable part of travel, but a big part of my travel philosophy is built around beating the crowds. And speaking of crowds, I know a bit about how crowd control works in Asia - there is none.

I'm willing to put in extreme effort to get to some places, especially if I'm going to be rewarded by having a place nearly to myself when I get there. I generally like my travel to have some element of relaxation to it and there isn't much about China that strikes me as relaxing. This doesn't mean that I have no interest in going to China, but when we get around to it, I suspect our priority will be a long train ride to Lhasa, not jostling with crowds on the Great Wall.

Disneyworld, Disneyland and any international permutation thereof.

Controversial, I know. This is completely a matter of personal taste, but if you ask me to do a word association with 'hell on earth' then Disneyworld with hordes of screaming children, stressed adults, unforgiving humidity, unrelenting expenses, unending lines and kitsch versions of foreign places where I'd much rather be is what immediately comes to mind.

There was a brief period of my life (around the age of 10) when I was certain that I was the only child in America denied the right of passage of a trip to Disneyworld; how quickly that feeling passed. I like Finding Nemo and Toy Story as much as the next person, but I'm fine with my Disney experience to be confined to the big screen. I was less than a mile from Disneyworld last summer and curiosity didn't even get the better of me; the cross-section of humanity I had witnessed at the Orlando Airport was all I needed to see.  Besides, I get dizzy just thinking about those teacups and one of the biggest perks of not having children is the ability to go on vacation without them.

The Pyramids.

Egypt is pretty high on our list, but our dream trip would bypass Cairo and the Pyramids altogether and start at Luxor with a slow trip down the Nile in a felucca to Abu Simbel. I've dealt with a lot of third world hassle in my day, but the tales that I've heard about touts and tourist harassment at the Pyramids is enough to make my head spin even from the comfort of my home.

I also prefer the ancient image of the Pyramids that I have in my head, perched on the edge of the Sahara with no evidence of modern life; not litter blowing past like tumbleweed and a KFC peeking out in the background.

New York City.

OK, so this is cheating a little bit; I've actually been to NYC, but it was brief, a long time ago and there was little to induce me to rush back. I can hear your sighs of disgust already, but bear with me. To an extent big cities are the same everywhere and I've done a lot of big cities in my day (I'm equally unimpressed with Singapore). So sure, Central Park is nice but so is Hyde Park in London; New York has some great buildings, but nowhere near the architectural heritage of Chicago; New York lacks a stunning geographical setting like Seattle or Sydney; New York has fabulous museums but how much better can you get than the Louvre or Hermitage? And is there any place on the planet more disappointing than Times Square? Seriously.

Niagara Falls.

Nothing against waterfalls, but I'm holding out for Iguasu or Victoria Falls instead. Niagara strikes me as that uniquely American type of tourist attraction where you can drive thru-McDonalds and the falls jointly and have the full viewing experience from the comfort of your car in five minutes or less. That just isn't for me. It's also just a long way from anywhere else of major interest; it seems like a lot of work for little reward. I know, I'm a snob. 

Okay folks, that is it. Feel free to set me straight.