It's not you TripAdvisor, it's us

This rant has been a long time coming, but recently came to head as I've been planning a major family trip to Indonesia that needs to make six people happy. I reluctantly turned to TripAdvisor for inspiration; not because I inherently dislike TripAdvisor - it's a useful platform and it helps to keep the travel industry honest; the problem is the reviewers.

I've personally contributed several reviews to TripAdvisor and there are a lot of high quality reviews out there - but you need to settle down with glass of wine and prepare to do some work to find them. I long ago accepted that a brief glance at the overall rating is virtually useless. The frustrations listed here primarily relate to reviews I've encountered within Asia. I have no idea if TripAdvisor is more reliable if you're planning a trip to NYC.

Expectation management

 

Just because something is called 'Coconut Grove Holiday Beach Resort' does not necessarily mean that there are coconuts, a beach or it is even a resort. Far too often I stumble upon a review that says something like, 'we booked this resort because it was $10 a night, when we arrived it there was no AC and it was on a busy main road 10 minutes walk from the beach.'

Not $10 a night, but for a very reasonable $70 you can get a deluxe suite.

While I kind of sympathise, did you really think that $10 was going to get you the full resort experience including a swim-up bar and a spa? Nice things still cost more, even in Asia.

So the lesson here is, don't write a review focused entirely on your disappointment, tell me if it was any good relative to the kind of property it was realistically aspiring to be. For $10 a night, I want to know about the bed bug situation not the lack of concierge.

The inverse is true too, don't tell me you had a superb three course meal in an excellent restaurant owned by a celebrity chef but then you were put out when the bill topped $40.00 and give it a stingy 2 star review. I've never known a restaurant (or hotel) to refuse to let you view prices before agreeing to eat or stay in a place. If you ended up spending more than you wanted, that's on you. If the food or service was disappointing, then please tell me all about it.

Southeast Asia is still exceptionally good value, but it's not free and you shouldn't expect it to be.

The weather 

 

I am well aware of how truly devastating bad weather can be on vacation. On our first trip to Borneo, we planned to wrap up the trip with a few days at the beach. As we were driving to our resort, it was so dark, rainy and miserable at mid-day that the automatic streetlights switched on. This really took the shine off things.

But (and repeat this with me) the weather is not the fault of the hotel, resort etc. I've read far too many reviews about a hotel where the reviewer has given a place a really low score, only to then read something like, 'the hotel was really lovely and the staff friendly and helpful, but it rained the whole time.'

Odds are you took a gamble and came in the rainy season, didn't do your homework or just had bad luck. It's the tropics, it rains. Either way, it's both unhelpful and unfair to write a review like this. Stick to the (relevant) facts.

Beating up on local staff

 

This is the most cringe-worthy sin. PJ O'Rourke tells a story of being in South Africa in the late-80s, begging and pleading with the Afrikaans speaking waiter to please bring him a fork. He instead slowly amasses a large collection of drinking vessels and spoons. On the verge of losing his temper, O'Rourke finally has the good grace to eat his chicken with a spoon and leaves a massive tip for the beleaguered waiter.

(In full context this story is a more complex parable of South Africa at the end of Apartheid.) But there is another, less complex lesson to be taken here: if you are unable to communicate with the staff in a foreign country, that is your problem, not theirs. There's a big difference between a waiter mixing up your order because he/she can't understand you and actual bad service. Sometimes the two overlap to be sure. But, unless you're paying an extortionate sum of money to shield yourself from suffering any local inconvenience or  hassle by staying at the Ritz or Four Seasons, then cut your local staff some slack. You're on their turf and miscommunication is all part of the experience.

Expecting everything to be the same as at home

 

Americans are particularly guilty of this one. Again, it's all about the context. Being wildly disappointed by something because it is different to what you are used to might suggest you're better suited to armchair travel. A review that starts something like, 'X is like this at my favorite restaurant at home, but it's completely different here!' Look around Dorothy, you're not in Kansas anymore. Comparisons can be helpful, but what's that old saying about 'apples and oranges'?

Foreign food

 

I know everybody wants to be a 'foodie' and instagraming your every meal (I'm guilty) has become an international pastime, but if you are a fussy eater, please just confess. If you hate spicy food, just say so. Can't get into Asian cuisine? Fine. Terrified of spending your whole trip on the toilet and therefore feeling unadventurous? Just let us know a few things about you before you set yourself up as the next Anthony Bourdain.

A friend and I were in Hanoi last year and we wanted to find something special for our last night in Vietnam. For a little context - we were both adventurous eaters with guts of steel and had been blown away by the food in Vietnam thus far. We weren't hunting for a decent pizza to pull us through a final meal.

We skimmed TripAdvisor and found that the highest ranked restaurant in Hanoi was nearby and we went to check it out. For both of us the first red flag was that it was a hotel restaurant. A universal truth of international travel is that hotel restaurants are generally disappointing. It was tidy and soulless; the menu a nod to the white-people favorites of Vietnamese cuisine - spring rolls and pho - the rest was the usual generic Chinese food (think of it as going to Germany and ordering spaghetti bolognese or Ceasar salad.) It was inconceivable to us that this was the best Hanoi had to offer.

We bailed and had a few beers and settled into toddler-size plastic chairs in a gutter somewhere (much to the amusement of the locals) and gorged on whatever the locals were eating. Maybe the hotel restaurant really was great, we'll never know, but I've learned to trust my instincts and despite the glowing reviews it screamed mediocrity.

Read between the lines

 

This is one for those looking for helpful reviews. Newsflash: Everything you read on the internet isn't true. And most things you read on the internet should be taken with a pinch of salt. Before putting blind faith in the opinion of a complete stranger do a little detective work.

For instance, where are they from? When we lived in Malaysia, I was fully aware that the qualities I might look for in a hotel or resort might be completely different from a Malaysian. For example, one of the first things we tend to confirm is the availability of alcohol. I would view a tropical vacation without a few cold beers as genuinely devastating. A Malaysian might not even notice this.

Also, how old are they? Did they have children with them? What kind of budget are they on? Is this reviewer a notorious grump - is everything they've ever reviewed just a string of complaints? And most importantly, have they committed any of  the above sins?

Take those things into consideration and you'll have a lot more success in finding reviews that are helpful to your situation. (Trip Advisor does have reviewers create personal profiles, check people out, see if they are similar to you).

 Trust the pros (within reason)

 

I'm aware that people reviewing on TripAdvisor aren't professionals, but neither am I, I'm just asking for a little common sense and thoughtfulness. That's also why TripAdvisor is never going to put the likes of Lonely Planet and Rough Guides out of business. The big boys don't get it right every time - far from it (I distinctly remember binning a copy of Lonely Planet's Southwest England guide). But they usually do two very important things: they manage your expectations and keep things in context; that way when they do misfire, it's pretty easy to read between the lines.